In November 2016 I suffered depression and anxiety and felt as though my entire world was crumbling around me. A number of occurrences led me to a point where I felt I needed to significantly evaluate, all the adverse choices and decisions that I was making in my life. For a long time I had felt that I was on a course to collision and so when I started walking on the path of meditation it was a welcomed pause to the hectic activity.
I opened myself to experiencing various forms of meditation such as; Kundalini, Dynamic, Buddhist and Sahaja. I joined yoga classes that fused asanas with meditative practice and a centring on breath work to support a calming state of mind. When someone asks what meditation do you practice? my answer is normally that I practice what my soul needs. I allow my energy to flow because I feel that in doing so it continues to circulate and does not become too stagnant in any one form. I find that this approach to meditation has allowed me to have continued internal exploration and growth.
Over the last year I have been on a tremendous spiritual journey of unlearning and I changed completely from the person that I had become in my adult life. I feel I have come back to the essence of who I am, it is so hard to explain in many words but it feels on most days as though I touched the reset button. Everything looks from a new perspective and the ordinary things in life feel like miracles.
I had never really learnt to love or find myself worthy of being loved. I would often look outwards and think why is everyone treating me so badly, as I did not know how to do my internal reflection. What I have experienced through meditation and crystal healing is the vast amount of strength that comes from looking within. There were many bumps in the road as on my journey I experienced so much emotional distress, depression, identity crisis, powerful Kundalini awakenings and existential fear. One of the hardest things for me was the suffering of intrusive thoughts that would enter my mind, which were stemming from the realisations that were occurring.
It was not a sudden moment, when I realised all the false perceptions existed that I had been clinging to like a raft for support. It took some time, however I was able to let them go and noticed that I could swim on my own. I no longer needed to cling to the false image that I had upheld about myself that were based on things, which to be honest I could no longer remember. I was now able to be a new me and in fact I could be a new me everyday, every hour, every second and every moment. I enjoyed the liberation that came from the realisation that I could just keep moving.
On the surface of all the internal work that was happening I was trying to balance being a rock of stability for my two beautiful children, organising my household, working a stressful job, coming to terms with the end of a marriage, having my heart-broken and studying for a Law degree. Despite those challenges, the gift of self-reflection and healing that I provided to myself, enabled me to maintain resilience to tackle all the issues that were coming my way. The important lesson that I have learnt, is that self empowerment and spiritual growth are energies that I had to nurture from within myself.
Jump forward and I am so happy to be here and I want to share if only a little drop, of what I am tasting with all the beautiful souls that I may happen to meet along my journey.
I enjoy this moment
love and Light