Letting go of Self Doubt

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There have been many times in the past when I have wanted to make a change to my life and try a new path way but have been stopped dead in my tracks, with a cold internal feeling of worry.

In this blog I want to share with you some ways you can overcome self doubt.  I will also introduce crystals and a free guided meditation below, that you can use to support in developing your confidence and moving away from fear of the negative internal self.

Thoughts, Dreams and Reality

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Life is all about the realisation of thoughts, everything we see around us is a manifestation of a thought that came into existence.   The process of making thoughts real requires a relinquishing of doubt and fear.  This means conquering the ‘what ifs’ and until that step in the process is overcome, most people will find that their thoughts will remain in their minds.  In order to overcome self doubt and fear so that you can begin the process of relinquishing these emotions, as with anything, you need to understand exactly how they work.  You need to get under the rug of self doubt and fear to pull out exactly what is under there, in order to push away those negative thoughts holding you back.

What is self doubt?

Self doubt is a crippling feeling of uncertainty about yourself and can take the form of doubt about your confidence, ability or likability in relation to social status.  Self doubt can also manifest as a voice in your mind and you can become so accustomed to hearing that voice that it becomes difficult to realise the emotional damage it causes.

Self doubt is often not a one time thing that suddenly happens to you, it is ingrained and is a voice in the mind that has over time been allowed to grow and become stronger.  Significantly intrusive self doubt can be formed as early as key impressionable milestones in early years  and at significant peaks during childhood and adolescent neural connectivity.  Nurturing interactions between a child and their care giver can shape positive brain architecture.  When caregivers provide positive responses to a child’s needs this creates a rich experience supporting physical, mental and emotional health.  [1]

This isn’t to say that when negative thought patterns and responses connected to self doubt, that have been developed in early childhood and teen years cannot be worked on to change for the better.   What it does mean is that you will need to actively engage in positive behaviour, that is supportive to you, on a regular basis, where those nurturing neural patterns and responses where not well supported in your early life.  This can help you to develop your self esteem and support you to quieten those voices of self doubt.

Releasing Self Doubt

Maintain your sense of self worth

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Engage in positive behaviours such as volunteering within your local community in a capacity that allows you to share your skills or experiences.   I have found that volunteering can be much more rewarding than paid employment, even when you do enjoy the work you are doing.   Volunteering allows you the opportunity to engage supporting people or animals in a new context and you can use existing skills to build new ones.

Make conscious choices

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Avoid doing things just for the sake of it by making conscious choices…Attach meaning to decisions you make in your life.  Let this moral compass guide you in your decisions concerning matters such as relationships, employment and personal development.  When we take our time and make meaningful and intuitive decisions, we allow those decisions to have a positive impact on the connections we make in our lives and this can build our self confidence.

Seek approval from yourself first

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Seek approval from yourself first and foremost and make decisions that make you happy.  Ultimately if you always look outwardly for love and approval concerning decisions that will impact your life, you don’t allow yourself the time to get to know what you need for your self development.  When you start people pleasing its easy to end up locked in the highs and lows of being liked and then being disapproved of.  These swings and roundabouts can lead to destructive habits in an effort to try and feel better about yourself; such as drinking, drug taking or risky sexual behaviour.

Count Small Successes

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In order to achieve big dreams you must make some small goals along the way.   I have always been a firm believer in little and often.  If you attach worth to your life by connecting yourself to the big dream that requires the massive leap, more often than not self doubt will sink in to question whether you have the energy to make that big leap.    What are big dreams without small goals? nothing!

The Little and Often Approach

Say for example you want to write a book, you might keep saying to yourself ‘I really don’t have the time to focus on this at the moment’.  However you will quickly realise that the right moment never manifests.  Its tempting to wait for the perfect moment in life to start something, the right time when all the stars align and the universe sings your name.  However its important to be honest with yourself and the truth is that big changes rarely happen over night. However big changes can occur over the course of time and with resilience.  The right time to start that book is always now, by starting with the basics; write down ideas about genres, place basic character profiles on sticky notes.  By making things manageable, before you realise it you have already started writing the book that you thought you never had time for. 

Quieten the voice 

There are crystals you can work with to support releasing inhibitions and trapped energy that manifest as self doubt.  I have found that white crystals can be great for energising a fresh start, white crystals correspond with our highest chakra.  Our crown chakra connects us with universal energy, spirituality and consciousness.   Working with crystals at this level of vibration can support in allowing an intuitive inner guidance within our lives.  This can be particularly beneficial when you are confused about the path that you want to take in life.   

White Agate 

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Supports acceptance of yourself and this can develop inner confidence.  White Agate reflects the troubles that are causing emotional crippling within your life, to enable you to deal with the issues that are affecting your wellbeing.  Agate can support you to address inner conflict that you have been holding.  Use Agate when you wish to create a fresh start and are ready to confront internal tensions using practical solutions.  

Okenite

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Okenite can connect you to understanding your soul journey, your soul journey can be thought of as your life purpose.  For some people the life purpose may be one thing and for others it may be a collection of goals that come together to form their entire journey.  The important thing to remember is that no one persons soul journey is or should be the same.   Okenite is a calming gemstone and as such is beneficial for people who come into experiences where they do not feel supported.  Rather than holding onto and remaining in stagnant situations,  it can remind you to remain calm and to keep moving through and past situations and encounters that do not serve you in a positive way.

Meditate Your Way to Confidence

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‘Going within’ is not just another buzz phrase of a new age mantra, it is a long standing philosophy in order to understand yourself.  The self is constantly changing and so going within is not a one hit wonder, it is a process of continual discovery.

This meditation can be used for rooting self confidence to embark on new adventures.   In this meditation you will start the process of observing positive thoughts and emotions through guided taste and sensations.

  • You can begin when you are ready…. Place yourself in a comfortable position this can be either seated or laying down; whichever is most comfortable for you.
  • When you are ready…close your eyes
  • Take three deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth
  • Feel your ribcage inflate as you draw those deep breaths in and fill your lungs with oxygen.  Feel your ribcage deflate as you breath out and as you do so imagine yourself breathing out negative thoughts and ideas that do not serve you. 
  • In this moment your mind is free from self doubt and you are ready to begin your journey
  • Allow your breath to settle into a natural rhythmic breathing and as you do so envisage yourself walking through a warm sunny  field covered in colourful wild flower.  At the far end of the field you see a small lake.  As you approach the lake you see a quaint red boat waiting for you.   You step into the boat and sit down on the bench.  You take the oars and slowly begin to paddle towards the other side of the lake. 
  • When you reach the bank on the other side you step out of the boat and walk onto the lush green grass.  You take your shoes off and feel the cooling sensation of the grass under your feet.  This field has beautiful strong trees with big green leaves and ripe fruit.  You reach up to take a fruit from a tree. 
  • You have never seen this fruit before…it is round with a soft, smooth skin and has a pale purple complexion.  You take a bite; it is  fleshy, ripe and has a sweet taste.   The Fruit is very juicy and a trickle runs down your forearm, the juice refreshes and revitalises you.
  •  You continue to bite into the fruit as you walk through this lush field.    You see a tree that stands out among all the others as it has bright leaves the colour of an orange sunset.  It appears golden in the warm sun and its energy draws you closer.  You relax under the tree with your legs and arms outstretched and close your eyes. 
  • Your thought rests on your feet peeking out from the shade of the tree and you feel the warm sensation of the sun there. You spread your toes and feel a light gentle breeze pass across your instep. 
  • You feel relaxed and calm in this moment
  • As you take three deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, you feel your self confidence growing stronger with each breath.  You allow your breathing to settle back into a gentle rhythmic pace

When you are ready you can open your eyes

A good way to add more emphasis and understanding to your meditation is to journal how you feel after each meditation, this could be a couple of sentences or even just a few words.   Knowledge is realised by feelings, thoughts and experiences placed into actions and words.  Journaling allows you to become your greatest teacher and inspirer by building the blocks to your very own success.

Love and Light

Namaste

🙂

reference

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/serve-and-return/

Music: anxiety control – http://free-meditation-music.com/

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